How is it that another human can get so under your skin that you care more about them than you do for yourself? I remember when I was younger wondering if I had enough in me to love children the way they deserved to be loved. I needn't have worried. With each of my four kids, my heart seemed to swell to be able to hold the love I would automatically feel for them. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've hurt people. I've been hurt. When my kids hurt though -- that is the greatest hurt of all.
My beautiful daughter Rae, had her heart broken today. When I say broken, I mean torn out, ripped apart, tossed on the ground and stomped into the dirt broken. Oh the torturous things I'd love to do to the young man who dared put her in this teenage torment! Not knowing what to say to her, I listened. Not knowing what to do, I held her. Unable to see the future, I counseled her to get through each moment one at a time. Each moment she makes it through will bring her closer to the moment her entire being no longer hurts.
The hardest part is being unable to plug a zip drive into my experiences and load them over to her head and heart so that she will have the full knowledge that I do. The death of this relationship will be the fertilizer for future more incredible relationships. Right now, all she sees is the fertilizer.
And all I see is a broken young woman. One who feels unloved.. unlovable. One who believes she lacks in beauty, intelligence and humor. All she really lacks are the eyes and the heart of the mom who can see so much more in her than she could ever imagine.
I'm not sure that I love my kids the way they deserve to be loved. I do know that the love I feel for them is more than I ever expected. I pray it's a healing love.
Let me at him!!! ooooo.... I tell ya! That dude would not want to meet ME on the street right now!!!!
ReplyDelete